Valentine’s questions, answered

Should I give valentines to people in my office, or Valentine’s Day gifts?

No, you shouldn’t. If you are friends with some work colleagues outside of work with whom you might exchange valentine cards or gifts, you would give them outside the office.


My daughter, who is in the fifth grade, wants to give valentines to her friends in her class, but not to everyone since she isn’t friends with everyone. Is this okay?

No, and most schools that permit Valentine’s Day celebrations in classrooms have one rule – if you give a card to one classmate, you give one to every classmate. If your daughter’s class isn’t celebrating Valentine’s Day, then she would mail her special friends their cards, or give them to them, in person, away from school.


How does an older couple word their wedding invitation to say what they would really like as a gift is money for their honeymoon? We already have all the dishes, pots, pans, glasses, vases, etc., that we can use, so how do we say that tactfully?

You ask a very good question. First, however, it is important to note that you never mention gifts on your wedding invitation. Ever. You can, however, list registry information on a Save-the-Date card, or the host of a shower can list it on a shower invitation, and you can tell friends and family who can share that information with others. If you have a wedding web site, you can list registry information there, as long as your site has other information about your wedding and isn’t just about gifts. Here’s the good news – there are now ways to register with certain travel agents, or with your honeymoon destination site, for gifts of either money toward your total costs, or for things to do (that you identify and ask for) – a massage, a dinner at a restaurant, rental of jet skis, or contributions toward the cost of your hotel room, for example. There are also several companies that work with you to establish a honeymoon fund. Be aware that most of them charge a fee. Some charge the gift-giver, some charge you. Read the fine print when considering this choice. Also keep in mind that some friends and family are very traditional and would rather give you that pot or pan that you don’t need, in case you want to establish a small registry for “items” that you could use, and not money. Many other guests prefer to give you a check directly rather than through a honeymoon site. Best wishes!


What’s the correct way to write reception place cards for the dates of single wedding guests?

You ask your single friends the names of their dates, if they haven’t replied with a name, and create place cards for them. This is much more welcoming and personal than writing “Susan Smith and Guest. If you can’t obtain the name, then you have to go with “and Guest.”

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