Waiting to be perfect

Sometimes, I wait for my first block class to be over in school, just to encounter another 58-minute block after. I also seem to wait for the end of the day, so I can drift off to sleep in my warm, cozy bed, only to wake up at 6 a.m. the next morning to do it all over again.

Waiting for the school week to end is not a quality limited to just myself. I am quite aware that myself, and the rest of the 5,000 students at Greenwich High School, eagerly wait for the last bell to ring on Friday afternoons. And to top it all off, I am positively sure that every girl I know has posted a “throwback Thursday” (#tbt), on Instagram with the caption “cant wait for summer” or “missing summer.”

But I have come to realize that with all of this waiting, we, as teenagers, are forgetting to live.

Throughout my life, I have patiently waited until the day I will become “perfect.” Every year since elementary school, up through middle school I have yearned for the year, the month, the day, that I will become pretty enough or smart enough or perfect enough to fully accept myself for who I am.

Even throughout my three years of high school so far, I have longed to be perfect and it has yet to come. Fortunately, I have recently come to realize that no matter how hard I try, perfection is a nonexistent attribute, not only to myself, but to every single human being. Flaws are what makes us human, and mistakes are what make us learn. And because of this new acquired knowledge, I have come to accept myself and others for all of our perfect imperfections.

I did not think that I would ever come to the conclusion that I will never be perfect. Spending my whole life thinking that one day I will have everything all figured out became a reality in my head. It will take a while to become accustomed to my new way of thinking. Some people think that the mistakes we make define us, but it is not the mistake that is made that defines who a person is, it is how they try to fix it.

I always thought that as a junior in high school, I would have the world figured out. I have waited to be an upper classman. I have waited to be in the AP classes. I have waited to figure out all the complications that life throws at me, and still, at the age of 17, I am not even close to figuring out who I am. I know now that in life, there will be ups and downs, but waiting for things to get better will not fix things.

If I want to make the bad times better I am going to have to stand up, wipe the dust off my sleeves, and take action. So instead of waiting, I am going to be proactive and make the change I wish to see in my life. I am going to stop waiting and start living, because life is short, and I am not willing to let the years pass by, waiting.

Erika Hvolbeck is a junior at Greenwich High School.

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